No.1155
> She wondered why the antis go so far just to mess with her. Why they've done this for so long. Keep in mind that throughout this whole thing, antis were still in chat talking shit.
> Reflected back on past traumas/experiences and how trapped she felt in her hospital bed during her hospitalization. Being unable to move, forced to use a diaper, it was a horrible time for her
> Recalled a time in Asakusa where she just saw an ambulance and had a mini-panic attack at the thought of them trapping her in that hospital bed again
> Has felt frustrated cause her streams/projects don't get attention, called out people who only show up at times like this to watch her cry and how her clips are mainly of her crying, even when she puts signs that say "Clips banned"
> Talked about hating the world, wanting to disappear/being too scared to disappear, dying without having accomplished anything
> There was an incident 3 years ago where she got caught by police for some reason, got restrained and shoved onto the asphalt while crying her eyes out, got taken to the station and had to use the bathroom while a female officer watched her with the door open. After that, she couldn't feel safe around police
> Despite being silent all this time about it, she knows she needs to talk with police/lawyers about that incident and knows the solution, but just has to actually do it
> Ranted about her school days sucking and being hated by her teacher
> Got bothered by the people that feel like she's acting when she gets like this
> Said that she just wants to live normally but doesn't know what normal is
> Got asked about why she doesn't go to Holos for help. Basically said that she's awkward with other people, even groups that she herself made.
No.1156
> Felt that she could make friends in the hospital but can't in Hololive. Has felt very isolated and alone
> Like even venting like this, she has no one whether it's IRL family, friends or anyone in Holo she can go to
> Even for collabs, she has to be the one to reach out and initiate instead of getting invited
> Apparently there was a Disney trip that every Holo went to except her. Implying that she got left out essentially
> Talked about how her father wanted a boy instead of a girl and a childhood moment where she stole from her mom's wallet to buy a tamagotchi and how angry her mom got when she found out. Then her mom came back to the store with Chaama and shouted at the store clerk for selling something so expensive to a child. That messed with her mental even more than getting caught
> Talked about wanting her childhood years back and how much time she's spent being a vtuber. Everyone tells her she's still young as she's only 23, but she already feels very old
> She won't even end stream as she's apparently scared there's something in her house that could take her away, so she's been streaming until morning so she doesn't have to be alone. She doesn't want to even look at her face in the mirror.
> She said in English, it's fine to show her hands cause she quit being a vtuber. Then she said in JP that she wants to stay but will likely get made to quit after this so whatever.
> When she talked about loving her fans and streaming, she talked in a past tense and laughed at a comment that said this feels like a final stream. She reiterated that she likes being here, likes management and wants to stay, but feels suffocated by said management and lack of results
No.1165
:T
No.1167
why were the videos deleted
No.1168
>>1167Yes why were the videos deleted
The people liked the videos
I want to speak to the site admin